I wander these woods
unplugging the wires from my body,
stripped and frayed, they’re useless here.
The weight of the world withers away
the deeper I go, so, I set my sights
straight ahead, infinitely.
The sunlight seeps through the leaves,
growing softer until gently resting
on my cheek.
Ash floats lazily through the air
crumbling as it lands,
tangling in my hair.
I’m strung up in a cloth cacoon
tied around these ancient trunks
Mother Nature’s womb
Silky strands of web hang above
while these towering trees
toss their debris of pine and seed
all over me.
Dew drops form, shudder, and fall
to the ground.
In this moment,
I’m not aware of anything else
I’m relinquished from my social stresses
a transformation is taking hold
and I’m embracing it.
When I emerge, I’ll feel different
I’ll feel new.
The sun continues to arc across the sky
while I continue to sway,
baking to perfection
or something else entirely
it really doesn’t matter.
The river calls
Its crashing current collides
with everything in its path
clearing all obstacles.
I stand at its edge, contemplating.
It continues, calmly, and I’m coaxed in.
Here, I’m the only structure standing in its way
but I’m not a threat
more like an offering.
Its body bends all around
and creeps up
the tips of my fingers.
I’m not sure if I’m willingly submerging myself
or if I’m being carefully consumed.
Nevertheless, I want nothing more
than for my legs to give way
to the subtle pressure of this water
and float on
to keep this feeling I’m clinging to alive
to float past my safe routines
past my crippling hesitation
past my irrational inhibitions
past my impossibly high expectations
past all of my inner-obstacles
black and blue
I want to float to the bottom
to find the person I lost somewhere along the way
to find the person I’ve always been looking for
to find myself.